Scaring your best friend is just plain evil
by Ine2411
Summary: Kirk/Bones. MATURE. It's Halloween and Kirk wants to scare someone. Oneshot.


Today was a day called Halloween. It was an old terran festivity Kirk really enjoyed partaking in. He kind of wanted to try scaring Spock shitless, but that was probably out of the question, unless he wanted another choking episode. So option B was, indeed, his grumpy best friend and lover. Kirk grinned as he thought of Bones' face when he was scared. Bones did have a daughter after all, so he should be okay with celebrating Halloween. He kind of guessed the doctor was pretty easy to scare.

Kirk grinned at the costume splayed out on the bed in front of him. It consisted of some strange zombie mask and a fur suit. He had picked up this costume last shore leave when Spock really got on his nerves trying to tell him how everything he was doing was extremely illogical. Kirk made a face when his thoughts wandered and shook his head, once again focusing on what was in front of him.

He wasn't too much of a horror fan himself but once in a while he figured it was okay. With excitement, he put the mask on and stalked towards the bathroom mirror. With his eyes closed he stumbled inside, not wanting to see himself until he could see everything clearly. Groping the sink, he figured he was in front of the mirror and slowly opened his eyes. The sight that met him made him jump and he took a few steps backwards throwing his mask off.

"Jesus, what is this thing." He wheezed and tried to regain his breath. Okay so that costume was out of the question, he concluded. How would he be able to scare Bones if he scared himself? Carefully putting the costume away he tried to find something else to wear. Sadly, his bedroom did not have a costume department, and he had to be creative. Walking around, looking for things he could use his mind reeled and he was pretty frustrated. Then he remembered something he saw when he was younger. A copy of the old movie The Mummy, which he had snatched from back home a while ago, was in his own bookshelf.

"A mummy it is then." The blonde went into his bathroom, bringing as much paper he could carry with him outside. It took him a while, but in the end he managed to cover himself as much as possible after putting on some makeup he borrowed from Uhura. Uhura was his partner in crime after all.

Kirk snickered and ran out the door, making innocent passing crewmembers jump.

Finally he reached McCoy's door and tried to be as sneaky as possible when entering. Jim knew that McCoy would be in his room at this hour, being the captain and all that. A few more steps into the room and he stopped dead in his tracks. It took his brain a few second to register McCoy on the bed in front of him. McCoy on a bed was never shocking. McCoy on a bed wearing a nurse outfit was definitely shocking.

"B-bones, hey, what's up?" So much for trying to scare him.

"About time you came, I was about to fall asleep."

Leave it to Bones to be all sexy and grumpy at the same time.

"Oh my god Bones, what is this? Not that I don't like it or anything…" Kirk did like this, or so his lower regions seemed to be screaming at him. Kirk tore of the paper covering his face rather not so elegantly and raised an eyebrow.

McCoy seemed uncomfortable and wiggled a little before settling in a more comfortable position.

"Well, as you tend to talk rather **loudly **when you're asleep, I overheard your dream last night after you fell asleep on me." Last night both of them enjoyed a couple of drinks, and Kirk downed more than just a couple, which made him pass out rather quickly after jumping McCoy. Upon seeing the blonde still frowning, McCoy continued.

"You were talking about something like seeing me in a nurse outfit while blushing." McCoy rolled his hips. "So I thought I could surprise you, seeing as it is Halloween… darlin'" That southern accent did wonders to Jim's lower area, and it was always and only for Jim to hear.

On his little journey towards his lover, he discarded the paper covering him and left a trail on the floor. "I'll take care of that later." He assured McCoy when his eyebrow shot up, eyening Jim. Before Kirk covered himself in toilet paper, he had discarded his uniform shirt. It would look ridiculous with gold underneath, so he went shirtless.

"You better."

The blonde smirked and crawled onto the bed and towards his lover. He hovered above him, giving him an onceover with his eyes. He bent down and licked a trail up McCoy's neck and breathed in his ear.

"I've been hurt badly nurse, please help me recover."

Kirk ground his hips and McCoy threw his head back and moaned. "Shit, Bones…" he grit his teeth at the sight and tried not to ravish his lover right there and then. In his mind, he seriously contemplated just dry humping Bones into next year, but that would be a waste of the outfit. Kirk snapped back into reality when McCoy pushed him back so he was sitting in his lap.

"Don't worry darlin', I'll take good care of you and your little problem." McCoy emphasized this with a hand on Kirk's crotch. He squeezed which made Kirk shudder and thrust his hips. Covering Jim's mouth with his own, he initiated a languid kiss, which quickly evolved into a more passionate one. Both of them battled to dominate the kiss and McCoy finally gave in, letting Kirk massage his tongue with his own and explore the familiar heat yet again. The doctor moaned and palmed him through his pants.

"These pants seriously need to go." McCoy looked at Jim pointedly and unbuttoned him. Meanwhile Kirk stole kisses and marked his body wherever he was confident his uniform would cover. Jim froze when his lover grabbed his length and squeezed lightly. He shuffled out of his pants and McCoy was now the only one with any clothing on.

"Fuck Bones, I swear, you're so hot." His right hand went up underneath McCoy's uniform shirt and roamed his chest, ghosting over his nipples. He pushed the doctor down on the bed again, and settled himself between his legs before continuing his ministrations. Somehow he managed to remove the last articles on his lover and both were now completely naked. That didn't bother Jim very much and he bent down and kissed McCoy again before reaching for some lube, which he knew Bones always hid in the drawer next to the bed.

McCoy continued rolling his hips lazily while Kirk popped the cap open and poured some on his fingers. Teasing his lover's entrance he quickly inserted one slick finger. His whole body shook and tensed as he pumped his finger in and out. Not too long after he inserted a second finger and McCoy was moaning, wanting more. His fingers worked efficiently, scissoring and thrusting in, but not as deep as his lover wished for.

"Shit, Jim- nn- I… want your nnnah- dickhh- now." He clutched the pillow behind his head and bit back a moan, refusing to beg for more. Kirk wasn't about to deny him anything and pulled his fingers out. McCoy whimpered at the loss and felt too empty. The blonde positioned himself and slowly entered McCoy, letting him adjust to the feeling for a while. When he finally nodded, Kirk thrust slowly, setting a pace that wouldn't make him feel too uncomfortable.

"God damnit Jim, go faster, or I'll grow old and wither."

Jim raised an eyebrow and grinned, still deep inside him.

"Why Bones, I thought you would never ask. You old vegetable."

McCoy never had a chance to snap back before Kirk was thrusting into him hard. He finds it difficult to focus after a while and feels himself getting closer to the edge. Grabbing McCoy's legs, he shifts him so that he brushes that spot inside of his lover. That spot he knows so well. It makes McCoy moan out loud, unable to repress any sounds.

"Fuck-" Kirk leans down and kisses him, an open mouthed kiss that was more like their tongues rubbing together. The room was filled with sounds of heavy breathing and the continuous slapping of skin.

"Shit, I can't…" It was really hard to form proper sentences at this stage and Kirk let his mind go blank, letting his body and lust gain control of him. McCoy had wrapped a hand around his own erection as he was brutally pounded into the mattress. Finally, he rejoiced, Kirk batted his hand away and took it in his own hand. Somehow managing to stroke his lover in time with his thrusts, both of them was brought even closer to the edge.

"Yessss, that's great baby… I'm so close- fuck!" McCoy shuddered as he orgasmed, covering Jim's hand. This made him clench down on Kirk and soon after he stumbled over the edge as well. His world went white and he blanked out for a second, still thrusting into his lover slowly, riding out the orgasm. His head slumped on McCoy's shoulder and he breathed harshly. The man underneath him lightly kissed him lovingly on the shoulder as they tried to recover from their high.

At last, Kirk slid out of McCoy and fell down next to him, pulling the blanket and hiding both of them underneath the cover. He laughed breathlessly and put an arm around McCoy.

"Who the hell said I wanted to snuggle?" Despite his statement, he slid closer to Jim and tucked his head underneath his shoulder.

"We should really clean ourselves…" The blonde noted absentmindedly, kissing the top of his lover's head. "I guess it can wait." He ignored the sticky feeling and just reveled in the warmth coming from his friend who was calmly breathing beside him.

McCoy turned around so they were now spooning. "What was it you were trying to disguise yourself as?"

_Oh._

Kirk had forgotten all about that.

"Uh, it was … I was supposed to be a mummy." He ducked his head, a little embarrassed and snorted. "But I never managed to scare you, did I?"

Kirk licked his lips and felt kind of sheepish.

"No, I got you first." The doctor leaned back into Kirks embrace and turned his head, giving him a quick kiss.

"Better luck next year, kid."

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**A/N: derp. Reviews? I love them like I love ice cream on a hot day.**


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